I read with shock the Gurgaon shooting incident. I had read similar incident happening abroad and then shooting incident in college here in Hyderabad. But then I thought it was at college level. Here my mind is trying to rationalise and trying in vain to get false comfort . But when I read this happening at school level it just hit me. Infact the first thing that I did in the morning was I hid the newspaper from my children so that they would not read this. What is happening???
Is it that we just cannot control our anger? As a parent are we not teaching our children to channelise their anger in a right way? I find my own children getting uncontrollably angry for all small things. But then I rationalise and think for them it might be a big thing. But I keep telling them how anger is bad for one's health and how we try and control it with our freinds and outsiders but with our own can we not control a wee bit?
Then I feel are the children emulating us? Forget all those movies and television serials, I felt that I had to control my anger first and then preach to my children and to that extent I asked my children to help me out. I asked them to point out to me and tell me whenever I got angry so that I could cool down and also told them what upsets me and annoys me about them that makes me angry.
I feel I am a little better now and conciously try and not get angry though I know it is the most difficult task. Yoga also has helped me a little. And I also found just being silent and not talking with my children when I am angry has made them realise better than when I used to yell at them. I also found that when I turn an ugly moment into a comical one, both of us get things done in a much better way than accusing them of not doing things on time or so on.
So let me know of other ways and means of anger management that you follow so that as parents we could all benefit.
3 comments:
I Blame media. it creates false insecurity feeling in people by highlighting and generalizing each individual deviated incidents like this.
Yes it might be one of its kind,but the fact is it has happened.Going by the present statistics of increase in violence I feel these situations will continue.As we in Hindu culture say it is Kalyug!!
what are we doing?
we are reacting to the incident.
some get angry, some blame media, tv, school etc, some say its how the world has become.
ok when you finish all this, calm down and think. You need to think as a child, as the child who did it.
what made him do this? what did he went through, where did he got that idea, who inspired it, did he has anyone to share his feelings?
did his parents spend time with him, did his teachers know him well? did he has friends?
from where did he got the gun, how did it reach there?
Getting angry, expressing sorrow is ok. But we also need to act on it. we need schools where our children grow into strong individuals, not just into MBAs, BEs whose only aim is to earn money and more money.
we need to teach them the values of love, compassion, sacrifice and faith.
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