We have heard parenting comes naturally to women. Right from childhood girls mostly, (I say mostly because there are exceptions to every rule) have this motherly instinct in them. So Motherhood followed by parenting comes quite naturally.
Earlier people used to live in joint families with lots of guidance provided to young mothers by the more experienced elders at home though we might not really agree with some of the methods that they used to bring up their children. Ideas were different with regard to discipline, habits, education and various other aspects of parenting.
Now present times demand different kind of parenting. This does not however mean that the basics of parenting has changed. We still want our children to inculcate good values, good habits, respect for elders so on and so forth, except that methods of doing that has changed. So yes Parenting has become an art which needs to be fine tuned according to the need of the hour.
There are certain things that I see around which is quite disturbing. Some mothers are so hyper about their children that they have to interfere in every thing that the child does, and I found that one of my neighbour used to even interfere in their play by dictating to other children in the group asking them to change the game rules so as to accommodate her child, or going to the extent of scolding and threatening children when her child was kept out of the game. This showed extreme insecurity on the part of the mother where she needed acceptance and confidence more than the child did. Infact left alone the child interacted better and the other children showed more sensitivity towards him than when the mother was around.
Another kind of parent that I also come across is a very, very lenient parent who is very proud of whatever her child does whether right or wrong. She very proudly announces to who ever is around of all the things that her child did, how good he is in all the different kinds of art, be it dancing, singing, studying etc The centre of her existence is the child. She does not mind going through any kind of hardship for her child’s sake. I knew of this parent who was not so well off buy expensive things for her child, seeing to it that her child travels in an auto and she herself traveling by bus or walk. This shows excessive attachment which finally would hit the mother hard if her child turned away from her.
Parenting is such a juggling act which requires every kind of skill that one has ever learnt in ones lifetime. We have to put on different hats at different times as the situation demands. We need to be their caretakers and look after them, we need to be their first teachers to teach them, we need to be nurses to look after them, we need to be their friend when they need to talk and play, we need to be their philosopher and guide to talk to them about life and its values, we also need to be good actors sometimes when the need arises. So it seems to be a very tough job and requires a lot of maturity and knowledge to handle our little ones. The balancing act can be very tough on certain days while other days it’s smooth sailing. That is one reason that as parents we need a lot of patience and abundant love.
Hat’s off to some parents who really are good at handling children. The children ooze so much of confidence and are so very balanced that you just can’t help but notice and immediately look out for their parents to see who they are and how did they ever bring up their children in such a good way.
I also hope that we have tried our best to bring up our children to be self sufficient, confident, and children whom we will feel proud about not necessarily as some one who does extremely well in life, or a very prominent personality. But I don’t think I would complain if along with this if they have a strong foundation, basic values and strong humanitarianism which if they display through out their life I would consider the whole effort worth all the time that we have spent in making “PARENTING” a success.
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