Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Adoption is a viable alternative

This is one couple whom I admire. They have two children. The older one is adopted while the younger one is biological. They went through a lot of pain and lots of tension. But they had a lot of courage and decided to go ahead with adoption and this was in eighties!! And surprisingly enough they had a baby of their own after a few years. Now both children are grown up into young teenagers. It is a delight to see them. I really feel the parents need to be lauded for their courage.

Then I heard of another case where this woman adopted a baby and later when she found out that she was expecting she decided to undergo abortion fearing that in future they might discriminate against the adopted child. This is a different angle of thought.

But the point is these parents decided to take this step despite the stigma that many face when they can not have their own child and gave life to another child. Who does not hanker for a cute little baby of one's own after a few years of marriage? As it is, the age at which one gets married has increased and after that getting adjusted to a new life, work, and so many factors lead to couple planning their babies at a later stage. Working couple these days choose to have either one or no children policy. But of late we get to hear more and more cases where the couple is desperate to have babies but is finding it difficult to have one due to various factors.

One of my close friends could not concieve for a long time and she was telling me how painful and expensive the tests are when she went to the fertility clinic and finally wondered whether it was all worth the trauma that she finally decided to go in for adoption.

All the children whom I have come across who have been adopted are a delight to watch. They are so intelligent, loving, and make the couples life so very fulfilling that I feel that if they were not taken in, these childen would not have had an opportunity to shine in life. It would have been a national waste of talent.

After seeing these children, I felt may be if I had thought about this aspect at an earlier stage then I definitely feel I would have liked to adopt a baby and give the love and opportunity to atleast one little child.

I still feel our society needs to change their outlook towards adoption, because I have heard people saying things like whatever said and done our own flesh and blood is what matters how can someone elses child be like our own ? But I have read so many cases of our own so called flesh and blood abandoning their parents that I feel we definitely cannot go with this arguement.


Arundhati Ghosh said...

dear shobhana - lovely article. i am glad you wrote about adoption. we have so many myths about this concept in our country - i think most of it comes from age old caste/ class/ religion/ colour/ dna sort of udnerstanding of human beings. i have a friend who had one biological child and then adopted - I has asked her what prompted her - she smiled and said 'since she is already here , might as well take care of her'. seems a logic good enough to me.

Anonymous said...

Hi Arundhati- Salute to your friend who is one of the few enlightened person. May her tribe increase. Shobhana