Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Your Child Is Unique.

The other day when i was watching T.V I happened to see this ad on chicken pox vaccine where a little boy comes home and tells his family that he had got his report card and they immediately ask how much he has scored in math and the moment he says his mark they all say " Aur Rahul Ko?"and this continues for other subjects and finally he says Rahul got 0 in a subject as he was down with chicken pox and there is a look of sheer glee on all the family members. I am sure you would have seen this ad.

I wonder how many of us do this knowingly or unknowingly so many a time. During our childhood all of us have gone through this trauma of comparision be it between siblings or friends and we know how much it hurts isn't it?

We know that each child is unique with their own strengths and weaknesses. Even between identical twins there are differences. So why do we end up comparing ? Comparisions brings down the self esteem in our children. They become quite diffident show excessive shyness, will not be able to take initiative, will not be able to get their views accross though they know more, will hesitate to participate in school activities, and so on. on the other hand it might manifest in such children being more boisterous, rough, bully other weaker children will be very loud trying to show that he can also do what the other children can do but going overboard.
Both cases are harmful. So as parents I feel we must first and foremost realise that each child is unique and has some special quality which as parents we need to realise and try and encourage the child to nurture this aspect. We know how much of premium we give to studies and how much as parents we struggle along with our children so that they do well in their exams. But if the child is facing difficulty in understanding or is an average grader we need to stop forcing him.
So next time instead of asking how the child's friend did let us concentrate and ask our child how he did in his exams and ask him if he could have done it better and remember not to overburden our children when they are already stressed out so much at such a young age by this ugly monster called Comparision. Yes it is difficult for us but being aware I think will be the first step towards this.

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