Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The school bully
I am sure the word bully would suddenly conjure up the picture of our school days where I am sure at one time or the other we encountered that one person who has always taken pleasure in bullying the weaker lot of us.
Right from ages we have always had some who were bullies and some always ending up being bullied by them. Most of the time bullies were ones who were quite well built, who would choose his or her set of friends who would always hang on to their words and do things at the behest of their leader and get pleasure, who when on their own would have hardly got noticed. They walk around troubling other children, demand food, order others around and basically lord over the puny and the weak.
As parents we have come across this situation where our children have come up with stories of one particular child bullying others in the class. We all know these bullies are children with low self esteem, who would like to therefore somehow get attention, but trying to gain attention in a socially unacceptable way.
My dilemma is that we generally bring up our children asking them not to get into conflicts with other children, to be friendly and if at all they have some problems then to talk it out and try and solve the problem. But bullies are a class apart who cannot listen to reason. If we encourage our children to give them as good as they get, I am sure our children who have not learnt to do such acts with finesse get caught by the teachers and the culprit generally goes scotfree. Children moreover do not like parents to talk about these things to their teachers. They then feel that they will be subjected to more bullying.
This is a milder form of ragging. How as parents then do we cope with problems of bullying?